My Mum Story #4. Meet Claire Basterfield!
I am Mum to….
2 energetic and loving boys: Max 3 ½ and Harry 18 months.
The best bits about being a Mum are….
watching your child grow and learn new things every day. It’s also pretty special to see the world through your child’s innocent eyes. They see the world in its purest form, they have no prejudice, no hate, no pre-conceived ideas about what they should or shouldn’t like, they are just busy loving life. That in itself is pretty special.
I love watching how my children’s relationship is developing. I won’t pretend it is all love and cuddles, they wind each other up and they fight. But those moments when you can see the love in their eyes for each other is priceless. When I was pregnant with Harry a work colleague told me that I was giving Max the best gift he could ever receive, a friend for life. Now when I look at the boys and evaluate my own relationship with my brother, I realize that my work colleague was absolutely right. Finally the friends I have made. I have been incredibly lucky as motherhood as given me a whole new circle of friends who happen to be pretty awesome.
The most challenging bits about being a Mum are….
Sleep deprivation is an actual form of torture and I’m not sure enough recognition is given to that. People know that babies don’t sleep. But the reality of not getting enough sleep has very physical and psychological impacts.
The fact that when you become a mum everybody thinks they have a say on your parenting style, giving out unwanted advice. Whether is breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, baby led weaning or spoon weaning, pram vs sling everybody will have an opinion on every aspect of parenting. Everybody parents differently and the sooner we embrace these differences and just support each other the better!
Tantrums!!!! My sons appear to be kings of tantrums and I really struggle with them. The more I struggle the more I feel like I am failing them due to mum guilt!
The best piece of advice I could give other mums is….
listen to everybody’s pearl of wisdom, read all of the recent research and then trust your gut. Every family is different and therefore what works for one family wont necessary work for another. Even through the most rubbish of days remember that nothing lasts forever and they are only little for such a short time. Get out of the house and get yourself to a local baby group.
Making Mum friends has literally been a lifesaver for me. Those special women have saved my sanity on more than one occasion.
Since I’ve become a Mum I….
Have changed beyond recognition. I have always been a bit of a diva at heart and whilst pregnant, one of my biggest fears was how I was going to put another person first. And yet here I am putting two small people not only first but at the heart of everything I do.
Breastfeeding taught me determination and perseverance that I never knew I had. I have also learnt to be much more patient (possibly not with the hubby!).
I know this is a cliche but I have never know love like the love I have for my boys. Yes I love my husband, my mum, my brother and my friends. Hell on a good night I love the whole pub! But that love for your child is something else. It is a pure raw animalistic instinct that you cannot fully appreciate or know until you have children of your own.
My best mum photo is this one because….
this was our last little outing at a local farm before I returned to work after having the little one.